I wish I could write a reflective piece on the past year and then hypothesize how great '08 will be....but I won't. :) I'm new to blogging and I think we are up to speed with the past year's events, so I am going to focus on the past weekend.
Let's talk about meltdowns!! (Cheers from the peanut gallery...)
This is not my favorite topic, even though there has been a "meltdown" trend in my recent blogs...I don't like to talk about them, nor write about them. I think it paints an inaccurate picture of my son b/c I don't believe he chooses to meltdown or can he control them. So, I will continue to mention each meltdown, intensity and precipitating events leading to the actual meltdown, in an effort to find a method to the madness.
-On Thursday 12/20, Miguel was released from school for Winter Break and he attended daycare Friday.
-On Saturday 12/22, my mom "Meema" came to town.
-On Sunday 12/23, Miguel had a mild meltdown at Chipotle. Banging his head on the table, screaming and he knocked his apple juice across the table trying to head butt the table.
-On Monday and Tuesday (12/24 and 12/25), I was home due to holiday and we had very nice Christmas celebrations at a variety of places.
-On Wednesday, Thursday and Friday (12/26-12/28), I dropped Miguel at daycare at 0730 and picked him up around 1730. I blogged that day about him headbutting me in the face and chest.
So Friday night we were trying to go out for dinner and Miguel would not put his shoes on. He kept screaming and sat on the floor. I squatted down to talk him through it and he started swinging and headbutting. (I swear he could be a UFC fighter!) I ended up grabbing his wrists to restrain him until the headbutting began. Then I literally LAID ON HIM to stop him from injurious behavior, of which he started kicking me and trying to pull his arms in to bite my forearms. Here I was laying on top of my son in our family room. My legs were spread eagle and bent to avoid getting kicked. I was balancing on top of him with most of my weight in my midsection to hold him down and holding his wrists straight out from his body (almost like a skydiving position!) b/c it hurts like hell to get bitten by him.
When these massive meltdowns occur, I wish that he wasn't my son and that I could use all my strength and pummel the perpetrator until they were unconscious....or until I felt better about the whole situation.
I was sweating like crazy and my brother had to step in to assist me. It seemed like forever before we got him to his room to "timeout". Jason had to walk him up the stairs to the bedroom and Miguel fought him the whole way. Once we got him to his bed, told him "no, sir" and that "it isn't nice", he screamed, cried and shouted obscenities for approx. 10 minutes before he calmed down.
The amazing part of the meltdown is, when it ends, he is FINE! He is in a great mood! He thinks nothing of the fact that I was restraining him 30 minutes ago while he attacked me. He laughs heartily, hugs us, kisses us and MORALE IMPROVES!
What I have gathered from a history of these incidences is that he doesn't "just have a meltdown", rather a build up of frustrations until he reaches a pinnacle and EXPLODES and then he returns to a baseline.
I believe, in this case, Miguel's loss of structure, change of routine and change in home life (UnJay was home, Meema was in town, we visited numerous people, etc) precipitated the event. If Miguel were to have at least half days of school, would this meltdown have still occurred?
So the questions remain:
What is the precipitant?
What are the symptoms?
How long does the "building" period last?
How do you identify the "building" period?
What is the time between "massive meltdowns"? How do you extend that grace period?
What can I do to avoid the "massive meltdown"? Can it be avoided?
Can the "building" period subside w/o reaching a pinnacle? How? Medication? Behavior modification? A swift kick in the ass? Just kidding. ;)
I've had these questions in my mind for a few years now but I find it hard to live with him and identify the symptoms as a "building" period while I live with the symptoms (can't see the forest for the trees scenario). Then there is always the HOPE that it will get better and the denial that it isn't going to happen.
This would actually be a great study for my Ph.D.....but that ain't happenin!!! :)
The good news: Miguel will see, what I hope to be, A REAL NEUROLOGIST on Jan. 15 and I can bounce this crap off him. Let's hope he knows what I am talking about. It's tough being unique. ;)
"I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free."
--Michelangelo
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